Small Events, Big Responses, It is astonishing how the tiniest of actions can create consequences disproportionate to the event. How baffling these times are, when the cause and effect are incomprehensible. I recently had an incident, caused by my thoughtlessness, the effect was calamitous. My attempts to remedy the situation were like pouring oil on fire. I understood the impact of my thoughtlessness and felt the only solution, in spite of the great distress to myself, was the only one, and all agreed. Labels can be found for what ensued — an avalanche of misinterpretation, judgment and immaturity but really at the core it was humanity — the humaness of us all. The slightest footstep of an animal can create an avalanche, drops of life giving rain can create enough of a disturbance that catastrophic damage is done. Giant shards of ice and snow lay scattered across the landscape of my life, and other lives too. We need the rain, animals need to walk and without always understanding why, lives need to change.
These senseless times when circumstances extend beyond our attempts to fix them seem to be the universe righting itself. I imagine the groaning inside a submarine as it slowly submerges to a point that the pressure around it crushes the steel we thought so strong. Every time I think we have risen to the safe zone there is more fallout, another email, another misunderstanding, possibly the daily dissection and examination of facts distorting intention. Is righting these times beyond us? Do, can, we control times like this that are so connected to our human foibles and histories? Acting out beyond our own understanding. It feels so futile to try and right these things when you have a little glimpse that something beyond us is at play here, that these events will unfold beyond our good intentions in whatever way they must to right and alter our courses.
Morning and night I am dealing with emails, I am halfway across the globe, my day is their night. When they sleep my stomach churns wondering; are we done yet, will there be more emails, Facebook messages tomorrow? Can we lay this to rest? But we can’t because it is beyond us, we can not until all that is meant to be, all that is sensed but unseen, is properly ordered not by what we want but by what must be. These times may have nothing to do with us, times when all our attempts fail. These are not bad times, the sense within me, beyond the sadness about our collective failed humanity, is that this is good. The loss of money, friendship, peace, these will all benefit my life, I hope all of our lives.
Massive energy shifts take place and lacking all understanding as to why and what for the beautiful symphony of life plays out without our assistance. We have scary times, so often we don’t see beyond the moment but we have a glimpse, an intuition, so we sail on. I feel so confident about the outcome of this that I am not angry, I can let go. I can not fight the universe, like steel I must sometimes be crushed and then all those little dents will be banged back out again, it is okay. “What forgiveness is? Sufi replied: It is the fragrance flowers give when they are crushed.” I remind myself to stop, recognize the futility of further engagement I enjoy the fragrance.